WIG?

I had a several good laughs this week, with a make-over in Alexandra from the Look Good Feel Better Cancer charity www.lookgoodfeelbetter.co.nz and trying on wigs with Judy from Dunedin in preparation for the hair loss ahead.

Not sure which one I prefer (if any) champagne, foxy or salt and pepper. 

The blondie look is not quite Dolly Parton (need a serious boob job for that) and not sure if any of them are me.


I can cut the fringe or go for a longer wig, but whatever I do the hair needs to look messy to not look like a wig.



I get the choice of wig or turban or both. Turbans are good in bed apparently as the cold and strange scalp feeling is common after chemo. Talking to others (who have already been through the bald head stage) a buzz cut is a must as it helps you feel more in control; none of us are really, it just the perception.

Sarah prefers the salt and pepper look as she wants to borrow it when I am done with it. I can imagine it under a cycle helmet doing all the km I can’t do. Maybe I just stay dark.

There is quite a stigma going bald as a woman; perhaps because we automatically think of women being dehumanised in some way as well as being automatically recognised as the effect of cancer. It is shocking for others and embarrassing for us. But we shall see. With a NZ All Black beanie on I might just fit into a Queenstown winter and not need the wig.

I had a very good 52nd birthday (still with hair)

There was cake, salted caramels, flowers, a teddy (the delivery guy was cheeky enough to ask me if I’d had a baby; must have been deluded) possum scarf and ruffs, malt whisky (being saved until my liver can take it) and local Broken Heart gin and a big fire with our good friend Ros. Thank you to all for the birthday wishes and love.

Ros is a very talented lady, making possum rugs, cushions, scarves and feather artwork.

This is one of her masterpieces and will be displayed in a prominent place for guests to admire and hopefully commission a piece themselves.






Health wise, I am continuing to go down-hill slowly. My red blood cell level is very low, so much so that if it drops further I will need a blood transfusion before being able to take more chemo. After all the scandals in professional road racing, I associate steroids and blood transfusion with the illegal practice of the likes of Lance Armstrong and Floyd Landis. I won’t get a giro stage win but do have a valid reason for these drugs.

I have to carry a green card around everywhere with me, in case I get sick or have an accident (blood thinners are not great for cuts) then need to go straight to hospital. I have been fortunate so far. Fingers crossed this is always the case.

Found out that I will get a Hickman line put in when I get the stem cell transplant as opposed to a stent or PICC line. More info here.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hickman_line
I am not looking forward to this. How on earth do you get warm clothes on with that sticking out of your chest or neck? That and the hair loss, needles in the arm, machines that go ping and rashes on my stomach from chemo injections, I will start to look a bit like Frankenstein’s monster soon.



Once more I am writing this at 3am Friday morning unable to sleep. The bags under my eyes will reach my nose if I keep this up. I am falling short of the 10k steps a day and I not sure I can keep it up such a big target for much longer.



Walking around the area, I am lucky enough to find interesting things to look at. On the Tuesday route to blood tests, I spotted this rare NZ falcon (also known as a Bush Hawk or Sparrow Hawk) perched on a car, lurking near the Lakeside eyeing up the ducks and me. http://nzbirdsonline.org.nz/species/new-zealand-falcon

When I moved it flew to the other side of the car.

It followed me with its eyes until I moved away. The ducks were being strangely quiet and very still on the water, possibly sensing the danger. I was too big for lunch (and very toxic)
















There is a great river walk/cycle path over the bridge in Clyde that meanders all the way to Alexandra.

We will cycle it when I feel strong enough again.

Ros and I walked as far as a large screw left over from all the dredging on the river for gold.
One day we will have to try panning for gold (maybe when the water warms up!) around the Skipper Canyon area (when we are both feeling brave as this is only accessible with 4 wheel drive cars and insurance does not cover it)
The forecast is for -1 to -3C on Saturday.
Finally a duvet day with book and laptop by the fire scheduled.

Busy week outside the house this week as the driveway was concreted in 8 hours of dry;

As normal with workmen, some standing round watching the rest, one builders bottom about to be displayed; you try not to look but the camera never lies.





Another month of work and we may be done (for this house at least!)
Several months of treatment ahead. I may be done by April 2018. Everything crossed for that.

Learning about how others suffer and manage/cope with their illness, (whether cancer, or other life threatening disease) is very moving, emotional, educational and inspiring. We help each other on a deep level despite the fear, and inspire each other to be strong despite the crappy situation thrown at us. I feel humble; what I have never seems as bad as what someone else has been through/is suffering. Not yet at least.

Bye for now. Love to all.
xxx