Chemo brain

The weather and colours of trees have been stunning over the last 2 weeks. 
Fantastic views from Tobins track near Arrowtown especially; highly recommended.














Over the last 2 weeks, I have gradually got more tired, forgetful and fuzzy. This is known as chemo brain. 

Very frustrating as I am still trying to manage all the trades involved in the renovations in and around our house (flat, garden, drive, garage and gate all yet to be finished) 

Chemo brain will get worse apparently. 

It is combined with the side effects from: 
  • the steroids causing:
    •  an over active brain and frantic list writing at 4-5am in the wee hours of Friday morning when I scribble the latest set of crazy ideas; 
    • flashes of anger and mood swings 
  • my first bone strengthening infusion; a drug called Zometa (a zoledronic acid) which is in the bisphosphonate family (normally used to treat oestoporosis);

I am a toxic mess, although I can still manage a smile especially as the oncology nurses are very friendly and chatty. This is my latest bone strengthening infusion session:

Ladies of the Queenstown Patchwork Quilters donated the throw to the Cancer Society and it found its way to me. I love the colours, patterns and care and will treasure it during the treatment. Everyone has been so kind. I decided to cut my hair to an Italian summer length perversely just as we are going into the NZ winter months. I will lose it all anyway by August but still thought I could manage a trip to the hairdressers for a dose of normality, chit chat and gossip.

Zometa will be administered to me every month until 2 years after my stem cell treatment. (up to August 2019)
  • One risk is that it reduces your mortality; as if I needed anything else!
  • A consequence is that my trips anywhere else in the next 2+ years  (after I am allowed to travel  any distance and we do not know when that will be yet) will be limited to c. 3 weeks away from NZ. Sarah and I have yet to work through this implication.

Sarah is my faithful barometer, telling me when I look green or look like I am about to keel over. Immediate rest and feet up for an hour or so. She has to put up with so much and I am so lucky to have her by my side. Although Friday morning’s crazy ideas have to wait until at least 8am and after a cup of tea before I am allowed to download them.

I need to go for a walk each day just to clear my head from all the stuff whizzing around it.; sometimes I have to force myself to go out, but it is worth it for the fresh air and sunshine.

I am busy testing the boundaries of what I can and can’t do. When I attempt to do things at a normal pace, my body tells me when to stop; this is when my heart is pounding in my head and/or when breathing is difficult and I get chest pain. It doesn’t stop me trying. I just cannot be a coach potato when there are things to be done and a beautiful blue sky sunny day to stroll out into. I don’t think that I am over doing it; it is just living. I have had to give up everything else I love; walking is just about all the physical exercise I have left.

I have joined the Fitbit app even though I don’t have a fitbit. If anyone wants to link in with me as a fitbit friend, to cheer me on for my 10,000 steps a day (or kick me in the butt when I am not doing anything) please do so. Unknown to most people, the Apple Health app is tracking all your steps already. Download the Fitbit app for free and link it to your i-phone and you are away. It does mean that you have to carry your phone everywhere you walk, but I have to do that anyway in case of emergency. I have drawn a line over taking it to the toilet just to count the steps (it can become obsessive/compulsive)

The internet is full of information about all the things that could possibly happen. There are some alternative medicine supposed to make you feel better: Vitamin C, Tumeric, Homeopathic remedies (including Nancy King’s mum’s recommended to kill all germs soup on its way from Taiwan but probably caught up in NZ quarantine) but nothing proven as a cure all apart from chemo. Thanks to everyone for their ideas but this is the path I have chosen to take; actually chemo is the only path to take if I want to stay alive for any length of time. Of all the alternatives to make you feel better, my favourite is something I read in a garden centre attached to a potted pink rose:



Incredulous? I planted 2 in our rose garden this afternoon.



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